This Just In: Ron Paul is Racist

Seemingly unracist candidate Ron Paul is actually racist! Here’s the scoop: apparently, there were some newsletters that he issued some time ago, and those newsletters contained odd, racist, homophobic, and genuinely batshit crazy rantings (among pathetic sales pitches). But it would seem that the plot thickens, because according to Ron Paul, he didn’t even know what the newsletters said! And of course he can’t be racist if he didn’t know what the newsletters said!

Well, it turns out he did know what the newsletters said. So there you have it: Ron Paul is a racist. And also a terrible salesman.

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