Scientists: Some Brains Might Be Hardwired To Kick Them Blues with Cocaine

A recent study in Science, that evil journal of all things empirical, found that the impulse control problems common to those individuals with various addictions may in fact be inherited.

That’s right, baby, you were born this way. Sniff!

The study looked at pairs of twins, where one twin was a heavy cocaine user, and the other sniffed paint. No, wait, the other twin didn’t do any drugs. I was just looking at some paint and I had an idea…

Anyway, what the labcoats found was a hardwired predilection for impulse-control problems–common to both twins was a lack of fibular efficiency in the impulse-control region of the brain. According to Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, these studies have far-reaching and important implications:

The new study shows it’s possible to identify people who have inherited a susceptibility to these sorts of problems, Volkow says. And it should help researchers figure out how to help susceptible people strengthen their self-control, she says.

So, if labcoats can accurately pinpoint impulse-control weaknesses in your brain and help eradicate them, the converse would also be true; that is to say, they could engineer individuals with little to no impulse control, who could theoretically function as unrestrained killing machines, or a class of individuals hopelessly addicted to some drug that an evil corpocratic government could enslave.

Take that and run with it, ye dystopian nightmare weavers!

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