Skynet Declares Victory in Nevada

That’s right folks, Skynet’s T-1150 “Romneybot” has won the Nevada caucuses (sorry Ron Paul Kenobi–hit the next YT-1300 to Mos Eisley and GTFO!). In between updating his operating system and running system diagnostics on his detailed human anatomy files, Mittensus (Skynet’s nickname for the T-1150 model) had this to say:

“This is not the first time you’ve given me your vote of confidence, and this time I’m going to take it to the White House,” he said as the crowd chanted his name. And he delivered a harsh critique of Mr. Obama: “This week he’s been trying to take a bow for 8.3 percent unemployment. Not so fast, Mr. President.”

Yes, it would seem that Mittensus is implying here that he will lower the unemployment rate further, or perhaps attempt to change the definition of the words “unemployment” or “bad.”

At any rate, expect to be rounded up, experimented on, and perhaps duplicated in an attempt to lure out the survivors of the Romneypocalypse. At the very least expect more boring platitudes about personal responsibility and values.

One thought on “Skynet Declares Victory in Nevada

  1. Well, obviously all we need to do is change the definitions of ‘unemployment’ and ‘bad.’ Why did no one think of this strategy before?

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