Gangy and Pop-Pop to Get Busy and Freaky, In that Order

Yes, in terrible news that you don’t want to hear, STD rates among baby boomers are rising like a well-prepared souffle (ha! I defy your expectations!):

Data collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) shows that there were 706 cases of syphilis diagnosed among U.S. adults aged 45-54 in 2000 and 179 in those aged 55-64; by 2010 the numbers had risen to 2,056 and 493, respectively.

A similar increase was seen in cases of Chlamydia. In 2010, there were 16,106 in the 45-54 age group diagnosed with the Chlamydia, versus 5,601 in 2000, and 1,110 cases in adults aged 55-64 in 2000, compared with 3,523 in 2010.

Comparable numbers were noted among Canadian and British seniors.

Perhaps most amusing is the author’s* speculation on why this wave of genital grunginess is plaguing baby boomers:

Maybe it’s the Viagra. Maybe it’s the fact that most seniors never had “sex-ed” in high school. Or maybe it’s that more and more seniors are living in retirement communities, social hotspots for swinging single seniors. But regardless, STD rates are soaring among seniors.

Yes, it’s true: there are swinging clubs for seniors, places with rooms named “Granny’s Gloryhole” where the words “Hot Carl” and “Rusty Trombone” don’t refer to men or musical instruments. Let that plague your nightmares in the years to come.

Even Freddy Krueger would GTFO of that nightmare.

*Not the author(s) of the study

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