Not Surprisingly, Catholic Bishops Will Not Compromise on Birth Control

Despite reports of some slightly positive feedback, it would appear the the US Conference of Catholic Bishops will not accept Obama’s compromise. Instead, they will rain down the angry vengeance of St. Zimmazam (a lesser saint, to be sure) upon the White House in a display of their agitation. St. Zimmazam’s powers include minor chafing, web browser malfunctions, and the vague sense that someone smells, causing you to constantly sniff yourself to see if it’s you.

This displeasure did not come as a surprise to the White House:

Administration officials said the White House had never expected to get the bishops’ support, given their absolute opposition to contraception, and was surprised when the initial statement of the bishops conference on Friday was noncommittal and went so far as to call the president’s modification a step in the right direction.

Unfortunately for the Bishops, their showboating has irked some Catholic groups:

However, the bishops are now facing a potential rift with some of their allies who welcomed the compromise yesterday — including Catholic Charities, the Catholic Health Association, which represents Catholic hospitals across the country and individual Catholic Democrats and liberals who had helped persuade the administration to make the change.

Seemingly, this extreme case of what might be flippantly called “butthurt” arises from an alleged unwillingness to consult the Bishops for their help on a compromise; I now doubt that Catholic bishops understand the word “compromise,” because it’s plain that had they weighed in on the matter it would have been a fairly clear-cut “we refuse to pay for birth control.” Which is not a compromise.

I fully expect this round of “how America persecutes Christians” to take us all the way back to Christmas.

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