Georgia Will Host the American Nuclear Apocalypse

That’s right, folks: the Nuclear Regulatory Commission just voted to allow construction on two nuclear reactors in Georgia! I’m told that the pro-mutant lobby, led by one Magneto, Master of Magnetism, was instrumental in securing this victory:

“American Homo sapiens shall kneel before Homo superior! The future belongs to mutants!”

Naturally, Paul Bowers, the president of Georgia Power, the company that will oversee the multi-billion dollar project, was also pleased; his company applied for the license over four years ago.

The vote, however, was not unanimous, and the sole voice of dissent expressed his concerns that the lessons of Fukushima had not been learned:

He said the license would not assure that all of the safety improvements sought by the agency in response to Japan’s Fukushima disaster would be accomplished before the reactors begin operating in 2016 and 2017.

“I cannot support issuing this license as if Fukushima had never happened,” said Mr. Jaczko, who is frequently at odds with his fellow commissioners.

When asked what he thought of Mr. Jaczko’s “no” vote, Magneto flew into a rage and crushed a nearby Ford Focus into a tiny ball, which he then hurled into the stratosphere using his mastery of magnetism.

The project is expected to add at least a few thousand jobs to the currently existing plant; after expansion, the nuclear complex at Vogtle will be largest in the country. According to Magneto this is a clear win for the economy:

“Earn your petty dollars now, inferior beings; soon the moment of the mutants shall be upon you!”

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