Working Women Hate Their Families

That’s right: working women are radical feminists and hate their families. And not in the “Agh, I really hate my family” way that we all hate our families, either, but in the “I hate my family because of patriarchy and phalluses” kind of way that is simply unacceptable. This isn’t The Women’s Room, so get with the Goddamn program.

Earlier this week, Rick Santorum, gay sex joke extraordinaire, came under some fire for his remarks regarding women in combat; namely, that combat decision might be flubbed because of all the emotions. Naturally, Santorum’s enemies (America-haters, all) seized upon this and pursued the rational course; that is to say, they questioned his history on women in the workplace. And the results were not pretty, because it turns out that once upon a time he wrote a book that questioned the values of working women. But wait, friends! That part was written by his wife! What a twist!

Asked by George Stephanopoulos about that remark on ABC’s “This Week,” Mr. Santorum said that his wife, Karen, had written that section of the 2005 book — though only his name is on the cover and he does not list her, in his acknowledgements, among those “who assisted me in the writing of this book.” He said that when Ms. Santorum, a nurse and a lawyer, had quit her job to raise the couple’s children, she felt that many people “looked down their nose at that decision.”

Funnily enough, if this is true, it demonstrates Santorum’s commitment to women in the workplace; after all, a man that outsourced to his wife chapters of a book published under his name can’t possibly believe women have no place in the workforce. Just as long as they’re writing conservative screeds about radical feminism and then giving their husbands the credit!

You see, as long as a man gets the credit, it’s fine to have women in the workplace. After all, without a decent secretary pool how are you supposed to find a replacement for your wife when she gets too old?

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