Bratz Dolls Come to Life and Do Some Totally Fetch Vandalism

In the interest of making fetch happen, several girls in Juneau, Alaska, broke into a local school and wreaked havoc to the tune $5,000.

But as the saying goes, dog bites man is not a headline; but man bites dog? Hell yes! Well, then, consider this to be your lonely neighbor chowing down on some show-quality chow-chow: these girls were between the ages of 9 and 11.

That’s right, in a Gwar song sprung to life, these young ladies have earned their street cred by tearing the shit out some school in Juneau. And while the article doesn’t verify this, I bet that one of those girls totes pooped in a coffee mug.

Because pooping in a coffee mug definitely makes fetch happen.

As a bonus, I’d encourage you to read the comments on this story in the Anchorage Daily News. But be careful–staying too long inside the mind of an Alaskan can be hazardous to your health.

3 thoughts on “Bratz Dolls Come to Life and Do Some Totally Fetch Vandalism

  1. ummm…”We need to ask Planned Parenthood (PP) what they should do in this situation. Are they old enough to make their own choices and receive the consequences for those choices? Why have parental notification on anything young girls do? Of course, I’m not serious but just where does PP draw their line?” WTF does PP have to do with any of this? Where were they mentioned in the article? Reading comprehension fail!

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