Wait, who the hell is Google+? Did I meet him at that party last night? How drunk was I? Dammit, I hate when this happens!
Sadly, if this article in the Wall Street Journal is to be believed, you probably didn’t accept that friend request. Instead, you threw up, drank some orange juice, and went back to bed, leaving Google+ to wonder why you won’t accept its friendship. Especially after that amazing conversation you had.
It turns out Google+ is a virtual ghost town compared with the site of rival Facebook Inc., which is preparing for a massive initial public offering. New data from research firm comScore Inc. shows that Google+ users are signing up—but then not doing much there.
Visitors using personal computers spent an average of about three minutes a month on Google+ between September and January, versus six to seven hours on Facebook each month over the same period, according to comScore, which didn’t have data on mobile usage.
To be fair to Google+, it would seem that their service does offer features that might be useful; it’s not all Jesus quotes and shit white people say. However, these features are not enough to lure uses away from the social networks that they already populate (probably because moving sucks). Media analyst Brian Solis claims that Google+ has not adequately demonstrated its value to users, but he also adds that “nobody wants another social network right now.”
Yet Google executives aren’t giving up–they’re looking at their long game:
Google executives downplay the direct comparison to Facebook, which has 845 million monthly active users. They have repeatedly said they are making a long-term bet on the initiative, and the company has yet to build up some of the weapons that made Facebook successful, including encouraging app development.
In an interview, Bradley Horowitz, a Google vice president of product management, said Google+ is designed to be more than a destination site and, as a result, is “extremely hard for any third party to measure.” Rather, he said, Google+ acts as an auxiliary to Google services—such as Gmail and YouTube—by adding a “personal” social-networking layer on top of them.
And when Google+ really takes off, the data mining tools will already be in place; thus, advertising content will be so tailor-made for you that your innermost psyche will reveal itself in glorious banners of divorce attorneys, local gun shows, and discount bakeries. Not even Freud could hope to analyze your subconscious with the accuracy of Google+.
So maybe when you wake up, you should accept that friend request and head on over to Google+. Start a “hangout,” have a video conference; then, prepare to be bombarded by ads for private detectives.
Because Google+ just realized you were adopted and figured you might want some help finding your real parents.
I knew you were seeing Google behind my back…
It’s difficult not to; omnipresent entities are a real bitch to avoid!
You are just saying that to spare my feelings… sob…
Hey, a quick stupid question; are my posts showing up on the WordPress lists, or do I have to reach your level of fame for that to happen?
Fame?! Ha! I wish! I think tagging is what gets you on those lists. I always tag with “humor” and “news” because those seem to be pretty popular in the WordPress wordcloud. I think if you do that, you’ll show up and more people will see you!
I don’t even know how to do that, but I appreciate the advice from someone who is always up there. You are like freekin wallpaper, my friend.
When you’re in the “new post” editor, there’s an option for tagging on the right-hand side; just tag every post with “humor” and you’ll be in there, too.
The world needs to see your Conan comics!
I see it… it is on the left side in mine. I will try that next time. It is very disconcerting to have a conversation with Steven Segal, just so you know…
thanks
Yes, the Mojo Priest can be quite intimidating!
I keep thinking you are going to kick my ass… You aren’t, are you?