The Bristol Club: Don’t You Forget About Me

In an effort to maintain her now expired 15 minutes, Bristol Palin will star in a reality television series on Lifetime later this year. If you’re curious as to what qualifies Bristol to discuss reality (or represent it), you are not alone, my friend!

Apparently, the show, entitled “Bristol Palin: Life’s a Tripp,” will focus on Bristol’s attempts to raise a child that we all know will turn out to be a maladjusted famewhore. Just like the rest of the people who grew up in Alaska.

I kid, I kid.

It’s interesting, however, to note that Bristol has found some sort of media activity each year to keep her star from tarnishing; 2012 will see a reality show, last year saw a memoir, and the year before that she danced with the stars. What possibilities await us in 2013? Here are my predictions.

  • Abstinence-only sex tape
  • Boone’s Farm endorsement deal
  • Methamphetamine scandal
  • Celebrity marriage to Lindsay Lohan (now legal in seven states!)
  • MTV “Journalism” job
  • Waiting tables at the Mat-Su Resort
  • Appearance on “Hell’s Kitchen”
  • A starring role as Titania in the Valley Performing Arts production of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”
  • A substitute teaching gig at Wasilla High School that will provide the basis for an action thriller starring John Cena, Chris Benoit, Jason Statham, and various retired porn actresses
  • Another reality series, this one based on her entrance into politics.  Look out, Parnell–Bristol’s coming for your seemingly endless governorship!
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4 thoughts on “The Bristol Club: Don’t You Forget About Me

    • I think we should start a petition to get Bristol to compete on “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader”–that shit would be ratings gold!

      Also, sadly, I’m probably famewhorish enough to let Bristol write a guest post (I have student loans to pay, after all!). You hear that, Bristol?!

    • I agree. Seeing her scheme her way to the top would be the best thing ever. Alternatively, I would accept her getting really fat and then appearing on a celebrity version of the Biggest Loser.

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