Mississippi Loves Jesus; Jesus to Mississippi: “I Thought We Were Going to Keep it Casual!”

Yes, it would appear that 60% of America, and especially Mississippi, has really fallen head-over-heels for that rebellious black hippie who probably didn’t exist:

The latest Gallup Poll finds Mississippi is the most religious state, with Vermont and New Hampshire ranking as the least.

Overall, Gallup says, “America remains a generally religious nation, with more than two-thirds of the nation’s residents classified as very or moderately religious.”

Poor Jesus; just off a bad break-up with some whore and now a majority of Americans want to jump on his dick. Can’t a guy just talk about plucking out offensive eyeballs and not masturbating without a bunch of crazy bitches wanting a commitment? Apparently not in Mississippi:

Gallup found that 59% of Mississippians described themselves as “very religious,” followed by 57% of Utahns and 56% of Alabamans. Louisiana, Arkansas and South Carolina came in at 54%.

Ha! Suck it, Utah–those bible-thumping hillbillies in Mississippi have got you beat!

Not surprisingly, the Godless northern states in New England were among the least religious. Whether this is because of education, wealth, or possibly immigration patterns is certainly up for debate; nevertheless, we now know where Jesus will hide when Mississippi starts texting him at 2 a.m. looking for some late night “prayer.”

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8 thoughts on “Mississippi Loves Jesus; Jesus to Mississippi: “I Thought We Were Going to Keep it Casual!”

    • True. It’s pretty much an extension of the classic human tribal situation. We’ve always had systems to organize our in-groups and out-groups; religion has proven to be one of the most effective organizational tools possible. That it shits on everyone all the time is just an unfortunate side effect.

  1. While I do enjoy reading your posts, a couple of things to correct in this one:
    1) Jesus was not black – he was Jewish, and as such belongs to a Semitic group of people, who are not black;
    2) Jesus is a historical figure – in other words, there is no question whether or not he existed. There are reports that come from unbiased sources that mention him as an important figure of the time.
    3) Being religious is not a problem – many people are. The problem stems from a very human attempt to hold the corner on truth, and in that respect all humans are alike – religious or not. In fact, some atheists seem to be guilty of that just as much as some religious people. Just because there are idiots among those who claim to be religious does not make a religion a problem. IMHO, there are idiots among all kinds of groups, religious or otherwise, and it is that idiocy that is problematic, not the assumed link with any given religion.

    • 1) It is far from certain that Jesus existed. If you’re referring to the Roman accounts of his existence, I might politely point out that those accounts were given many years after his alleged death. The same holds true for the Gospel accounts. This span of years between his alleged life and the documents proving his existence are at the very least problematic, especially in light of the fact that Jesus is a rip-off of various mythical figures in the Old World such as Hercules, Buddha, and Socrates; accounts of their deeds predate Christ. Moreover, you’re dealing with oral tradition and multiple translations, as well as two thousand years of powerful vested interests controlling a narrative.

      2) In light of that, the matter of the ethnicity or race of Jesus is inconsequential; Black Jesus is a common trope in the struggle to pry his message from the cold grip of white theocrats. I readily concur that if he existed at all (which I do not concede) he would likely have been Semitic and not African. However, given the general patterns of cultural exchange at that time, I do not discount the possibility he was African.

      3) Being religious IS a problem. It clouds judgment and reaffirms the tribal instinct in man, and not in a good way. It creates outgroups and ingroups based on absolutely nothing and reinforces strict binaries that are detrimental to intellectual enterprise and also freedom. Religion certainly contributes to a part of man’s consciousness that must be expressed, but so does murder–and don’t think either of us is going to argue that murder is acceptable. Faith is easier than reason, but that doesn’t make it better.

      • Actually, the vast majority of historians agree that Jesus was a historical figure – there are a few who do not, mostly because they do not like the facts and don’t want to get confused by them. The evidence for his life is overwhelming, from very early 1st century writings (still existing), to Josephus (a 1st century historian), Plinius and Tacitus, to so-called church fathers, many of whom are writing not long after his death, generally thought to have happened between year 28th and 35th of the new era. Secondly, I think you are confusing the 4th century efforts to canonize the New Testament with the time those books are written. It is indisputable that all New Testament books were written no later than mid-second century, while vast majority is certainly written before the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem (August 10, 70 AD). Christianity as a movement has been widely present at the time of the burning of Rome, which happened in the 64 AD. The letters of Paul and other apostles have been written before these events took place, and have been widely recognized as authentic. The Acts clearly cover very early period of Christianity, and are written for those who were witnesses of the events of Jesus’ crucifixion. You don’t have to believe any of this, obviously, but those are the facts nearly all historians accept as valid and true.

        It would take too much to point out the incorrect statements related to the mythical (?? Socrates was not a mythical character…) characters you mentioned. Let me just point out that there was no contribution of Buddhist thought in that time, since there were no connections between the two worlds worth mentioning. If anything, it was the other way around, since Alexander the Great went all the way to the East, leaving lost of Grecian influence (both cultural, as well as genetic) behind him.

        There is no question that Jesus was a Jew – all written and oral testaments make that clear. The story of black Jesus is relatively new, and it is mostly symbolic, as it was supposed to point to the fact that the sufferings of black people as slaves were similar to those of Jesus. In that respect, Jesus is any man or woman, black, white, yellow and anything in between.

        Finally, your last point is somewhat surprising coming from you. The problem is not in being religious. The problem is in narrow-mindedness, intolerance and ignorance – and all people are equally guilty of those treats, religious and irreligious. In fact, I encountered most of those from people who did not consider themselves religious. You don’t have to agree with me – you are entitled to your own prejudice – but prejudice it is. You are judging Christianity (or probably any religion) based on some rather loud elements in it – that would be like equating Muslims with terrorism. It is incorrect, and it goes against everything I believe in. You don’t have to believe that Jesus existed, you don’t have to like the fact that others do, but I would think that a religion that is based on teachings of inclusion, love and tolerance is not something abhorrent. Jesus’ teachings have been of protection of the unprotected (women, children, outcasts), of touching the untouchable (lepers, marginalized people), of tolerance, of forgiveness, of humanity. And yes, it is true that so much of it was lost over the centuries in attempts to rule over peoples’ minds, in wars justified in the name of religion that many have lost track of what Christianity is all about. That, however, does not detract from the purity and beauty of the idea, and I would hope that we would all live to see a world in which those ideals are more prominent and truly present, a world in which all people – regardless of their nationality, religion, race or any other divisive thing, are equally valuable, a world in which people would consider the needs of others, and in which no one would be excluded or marginalized. That is the world worth striving for, and although impossible, there are many people who keep trying because it is something we all need.

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