That’s right, folks, it looks like Mr. Freeze has lent his support to Rick Santorum.
I’m sorry, I read that wrong. Santorum is getting financial and moral support from Foster Friess, who is not a Batman villain, but instead just a rich white guy. So, more of a Superman villain. Ha!
But who is this Foster Friess character, and why the hell does he support Rick Santorum now when four years ago he was over the moon for Mittensus?
Mr. Friess, 71, said that he liked Mr. Santorum for his faith, but that he also believed he was the best candidate to compete with President Obama, whom he blamed for excessive government. He said he came to know Mr. Santorum several years ago and particularly approved of his opposition to abortion rights and his hawkish foreign policy stance.
Friess is a very rich man, having made millions in the finance industry. His Super PAC, the “Red, White, and Blue Fund,” was a key player in Santorum’s sweep last on Tuesday, and Friess is basically the top donor.
But who cares about that? A more interesting question is prompted by my earlier case of mistaken identity: namely, what candidates might Batman’s rogues support? It’s doubtful any of them would be able to vote, considering their various felonies and incarcerations, but perhaps they could contribute to a campaign! Here’s how I see it:
The Penguin: Romney
Rich guys usually love rich guys, and these two rich guys seem like they’d get along pretty well. They’re both weird, and Romney looks like the kind of guy who secretly loves birds.
The Joker: Ron Paul
Let’s face it, a Ron Paul presidency is the closest we’d get to an anarchistic nihilist’s paradise.
The Riddler: Rick Santorum
He clearly loves a mystery, and it is most definitely a mystery that this guy remains a viable candidate.
Catwoman: Ron Paul
With a promised reduction in public services (including police), and a political ideology that supports a general panic to purchase gold and store it in your home, who the hell else would a cat burglar support?
Mr. Freeze: Romney
Fries seems like he prefers a pragmatic middle ground, what with his reasoned arch-villainy.
The Scarecrow: Ron Paul
The Scarecrow seems like a Ron Paul supporter simply because the thought of a Ron Paul presidency strikes terror deep into the heart of the sane.
Any other suggestions?