Is That a Hood Ornament or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

While performing court-ordered community service, Cameron Yates, of Wysox, Pennsylvania, attached a sex toy to the Bradford County Probation and Parole Van.

Hilariously, the driver didn’t realize:

The community service supervisor didn’t know the sex toy was mounted on the front of the van, and drove it to the parking lot of Hurley’s Grocery Store in North Towanda Township. Police said the sex toy’s presence on the van at the parking lot was “physically offensive.”

Personally, I’m quite curious as to how Mr. Yates procured the sex toy while performing community service. Alas, I suppose criminal masterminds must keep their secrets.

I recall a time, many years ago, when my friends and I thought of this very same prank, but never executed it. I now regret that decision, because it’s quite clear that it would have been one of the funniest things of all time.

Off-Duty Cop Clearly Watched “Cobra” One Too Many Times

In what was perhaps the overreaction of the year (early contender), Craig French, an off-duty sheriff’s deputy in Kendall County, IL, pulled a gun on a couple waiting in the express checkout line at an Oswego Wal-Mart. Best part: the woman was pregnant!

Nicole Thurmond recounts the initial harassment:

“I felt someone close behind me. He started being really rude and said, ‘Don’t you know how to count? You are holding up the whole store.”

Her husband, Jason Thurmond, was apparently grabbing a last-second purchase. When he returned to the line he witnessed a man harassing his pregnant wife.

“There was a guy in her face, yelling at her,” said Jason Thurmond. “In an aggressive manner he steps toward me, and I just push him back to keep him away from my wife and myself, and before I knew it I just froze because he pulled out a gun.”

In what is perhaps the strangest twist, despite not identifying himself clearly right away, Deputy French was not charged with a crime, nor even punished by the Sheriff’s Department. Rather, Jason Thurmond was arrested for pushing an asshole that was harassing his wife.

Sources have not confirmed this, but I suspect that Deputy French had just come off a very rough case involving jewel theft, the FBI, his girlfriend being murdered, and a lack of support from the Chief.

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