Sarah Palin Confirms that Governor Chris Christie’s Panties Are, in Fact, Wadded

According to, Sarah Palin has confirmed that New Jersey governor Chris Christie’s panties are, in fact, wadded. She discovered this fact after Christie was harassed into admitting that Newt Gingrich was an embarrassment to the Republican Party on Sunday’s Meet the Press.

I believe that this revelation explains a host of Christie’s behaviors, including his insistence on reforming public schools. Harvard researchers recently correlated panty waddedness to desire for vouchers, merit pay, and expanded charter schooling.

Governor Palin has not revealed knowledge about Romney’s undergarments, although personally, I suspect those Mormon butt-suits could get pretty twisted. A massive wedgie would explain a great deal about Romney’s posture. I’ll do my best to follow any breaking developments in Pantygate.

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