The Keystone XL Pipeline: America’s Never Bitter Pipeline

Wait, scratch that; apparently some Americans are quite bitter over the Keystone pipeline:

“For Obama not to do it is a disgrace to this country,” said Bob Levens, a retiree with his shoulder in a sling—a necessity before surgery on some torn muscles. (Consolation prize: Rick Santorum had signed the sling.) “He is stopping the workforce and the energy that we need right now. I don’t know where his thinking is. He’s giving $1 billion to George Soros to start buying oil from South America, from Hugo Chavez.”

Notably, Levens forgot to include the Trilateral Commission and the Bilderberg Group; both organizations are expected to play a role in Obama’s anti-jobs, anti-American, anti-Christ, lily-white-virgin-sacrificing Black Mass, to be held next week.

Perhaps most amusing is the leap of logic made by one swinging senior by the name of Jim Oddie:

“You remember Pete Rose?” he asks. “He’s banned from baseball, banned from the Hall of Fame, because he bet on his team to win. Obama’s supposed to be the manager of our team. And he bets against it.”

Oh, wait, now I get it: Oddie wants Obama to bet on America so that he can ban Obama from America! That makes perfect sense! No wonder Newton “Fly-me-to-the-Moon” Gingrich is Florida’s favorite candidate!

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