Governor Chris Christie is Not Totally Gay for Gay Marriage

Sandwiches, on the other hand, he is over the assless-chapped, lubed-and-poppered moon for. But who isn’t, really? Sandwiches are awesome.

Gay marriage, on the other hand, is a tougher sell. But the governor’s veto is not without some small recourse:

The governor’s veto was conditional, asking the State Legislature to amend the bill, so that rather than legalizing same-sex marriages, it would establish an overseer to handle complaints that the state’s five-year-old civil union law does not provide gay and lesbian couples the same protections that marriage would.

Mr. Christie also affirmed his call for the Legislature to put a referendum on same-sex marriage on the ballot in November.

“An issue of this magnitude and importance, which requires a constitutional amendment, should be left to the people of New Jersey to decide,” the governor said in a statement.

I agree that the voters should decide the matter, especially since the voters of New Jersey are likely to vote to legalize gay marriage. The problem occurs if they don’t; naturally, you can’t have the majority inflicting their spurious and harmful will upon the minority. But thankfully, because of the Ninth Circuit, it’s possible that even if the voters idiotically decide to vote nay, the courts will decide to uphold the Constitution that the people don’t seem to give a fuck about.

Christie’s conditions also include the establishment of a state official who will review cases of discrimination to ensure that the state’s civil unions enjoy the same rights and benefits as the state’s marriages. This, however, did not placate the governor’s critics:

“Frankly, I don’t think Chris Christie has an anti-gay bone in his body,” said Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, a gay rights group. But he called the veto “a brutally anti-gay act, pure and simple.” He added that the governor’s ombudsman suggestion was “the equivalent of gold-plating a separate water fountain for a specific class of people.”

And while a veto will prove difficult, it remains in the realm of possibility. Let’s just hope that the voters of New Jersey prove to be DTF regarding gay marriage. Now where did I put my Ron-Ron Juice?

Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals is Also Totally Gay for Gay Marriage

Today, in a ruling that will likely prompt the Supreme Court to weigh in on the issue, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals struck down California’s ban of gay marriage as unconstitutional. Judge Reinhold– I mean Reinhardt– wrote in his decision the following sensible words:

“Although the Constitution permits communities to enact most laws they believe to be desirable, it requires that there be at least a legitimate reason for the passage of a law that treats different people differently,” Judge Stephen Reinhardt wrote in the decision. “There was no such reason that Proposition 8 could have been enacted.”

“All that Proposition 8 accomplished was to take away from same sex-couples the right to be granted marriage licenses and thus legally to use the designation ‘marriage,” the judge wrote, adding: “Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gay men and lesbians in California.”

In 2008, after unsuccessfully petitioning the California Supreme Court to ban gay marriage, the dark masters of all that is annoying and spiteful in America succeeded in adding Proposition 8 to the ballot; after a lengthy barrage of stupid commercials and bad rhetoric, the measure passed and the California Constitution was amended to deny same-sex couples a pretty basic civil right.

Clearly this decision is a step in the right direction, but some activists fear that the current Supreme Court will Bork the shit out of this Ninth Circuit decision, given the Supreme Court’s dastardly conservative activist wing. They are probably right; however, it’s always possible the Court will decide not to hear the case. Whatever happens, we can hope that reason triumphs.

Oh, wait…this is America. Nevermind.

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