If Timmy Kills 9 Hookers and Billy Kills 6 Hookers, How Many More Hookers Must They Kill to Reach 20?

Yes, the answer is five; put your hand down, no one likes a know-it-all. If, however, you’re more concerned with the nature of the problem than with its answer, you’ll sympathize with these parents immediately:

Some DC parents are shocked over math problems that were sent home with third graders at the Trinidad Center City Public Charter School.

One says the “bloodthirsty aliens then sucked the blood of 828 teachers and left them for dead.”

Another follows a SWAT team member who “killed 163 terrorists, 296 murderers and 206 arsonists. How many criminals did he kill on an average day?”

You can read all of the problems here. I assure you that they are hilarious.

The problems come from a website for home-schoolers; they were categorized under “third-grade multiplication.”

Reportedly, the teacher was forced to use the website, or else she and three other teachers would be subjected to (x)ravenous wolves; she also noted that in order to have two ravenous wolves per teacher as the principal required, (x) must equal 8 wolves.

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