There Is No Fate But What We Make For Ourselves

And on this point Sarah Connor nailed it. Because SkyNet was really her fault.

Now, I know this sounds pretty crazy, but let’s consider the facts, starting with The Terminator:

1) SkyNet exists and sends back a Terminator to kill Sarah Connor, the mother the successful human resistance fighter John Connor.

2) The resistance sends back Kyle Reese to protect her; he fathers John Connor.

So, the causal chain here might be interpreted that SkyNet is responsible for John Connor, because had SkyNet not threatened Sarah in the past, Kyle Reese would have been unnecessary; no Terminator, no Kyle; no Kyle, no John. That’s all well and good, and we might be inclined to just accept the traditional (and paradoxical) “SkyNet ensured its own existence by existing” argument.

But let’s not be so hasty. Remember the outcome of Sarah’s first confrontation with a Terminator? Kyle died to protect her, and she survived, ultimately killing the Terminator by crushing it. When she did this, and did not pick up the pieces, she guaranteed the existence of SkyNet. Had Sarah bothered to grab the detritus from the Terminator she crushed, Cyberdyne would never have received the microprocessor and skeletal hand from the T-800.

Undoubtedly, some of you might be questioning my sanity (for a variety of reasons). But I urge you to consider this: after Sarah defeated the first Terminator, we have the only possible moment in the trajectory toward August 29, 1997 (side note: hahahahaha!) where divergence was possible. Had Sarah made the correct choice here, SkyNet’s future would have been impossible. Imagine the following timelines, where a is the timeline envisioned by the films, and b is my hypothesized timeline where Sarah takes a minute to pick up some shit off the floor:

a) Sarah kills the Terminator and runs away —-> cops hand over weird shit to Cyberdyne, events of Terminator 2 —-> 8/29/1997

b) Sarah kills the Terminator and cleans up the mess —-> no evidence for Cyberdyne to use —-> boring future we live in now

Sarah Connor was responsible for the Apocalypse, and thus correct when she claimed that there is no fate but what we make for ourselves. Way to go, Sarah.

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Skynet Declares Victory in Nevada

That’s right folks, Skynet’s T-1150 “Romneybot” has won the Nevada caucuses (sorry Ron Paul Kenobi–hit the next YT-1300 to Mos Eisley and GTFO!). In between updating his operating system and running system diagnostics on his detailed human anatomy files, Mittensus (Skynet’s nickname for the T-1150 model) had this to say:

“This is not the first time you’ve given me your vote of confidence, and this time I’m going to take it to the White House,” he said as the crowd chanted his name. And he delivered a harsh critique of Mr. Obama: “This week he’s been trying to take a bow for 8.3 percent unemployment. Not so fast, Mr. President.”

Yes, it would seem that Mittensus is implying here that he will lower the unemployment rate further, or perhaps attempt to change the definition of the words “unemployment” or “bad.”

At any rate, expect to be rounded up, experimented on, and perhaps duplicated in an attempt to lure out the survivors of the Romneypocalypse. At the very least expect more boring platitudes about personal responsibility and values.

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